just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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