I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
