if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
