But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
