i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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