Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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