3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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