Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
