i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
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Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
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You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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