i just wanna soil my oats bro
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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