halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
