so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
