they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Watching her eat just hurts me
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize