is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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