i was born a porn star she said
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
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True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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