So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
