omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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