why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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