The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
