check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
