can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
