I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My liver just broke up with me...
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
