I accidentally had phone sex last night
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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