Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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