talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
