Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize