it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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