I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
