Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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