I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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