i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
