Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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