just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
