Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
