She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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