I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
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