using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
