Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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