God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
