just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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