I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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