is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
