It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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