Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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