when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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