I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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