If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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