yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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