my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Found your dick twin last night
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
