I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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