I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
