what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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