No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
