Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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