my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
