she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
