Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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