Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
