C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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