anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize