Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
