but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
