Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
