There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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