did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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