R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize