I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
